After the massage I had dinner at Cafe Vreiheit. After having eaten with great appetite I must have been gazing into the air for about an hour over a glass of wine. I think they should reserve a place there for customers of Ananda with a sign saying "Our zoo exhibits here the species "gazers with a silly smile", please do not feed."

Dear Janaki,

My mind was trying to grasp the experience of the previous hours like a computer pushed beyond its capacity to red alert. It went in wonderful waves from "holy shit, what a ride!" to memories of touches that were poetic beyond comprehension. Now, a few days later, things start to fall in place.

As I told you, in my opinion the deeper the soul the better the tantra. I would say, yours is pretty deep.

Furthermore, the deeper the soul the better the imagination and the listening. And I am very impressed by the surprises in your massages, small and big. To start with the small ones, I did not know e.g. how pleasant it can be to be massaged in your armpits under water. Maybe that is because they are so closed to your heart? But the very big surprise was still to come at the end.

In my very limited experience with tantra your massages have been the least wild and orgastic. On the surface it might even seem not the most erotic one. But at the same time it is really powerful and the one that makes you come back. It is very contained and maybe therefore has incredible presence. In the very long massage there were sequences that were extremely slow and how you there managed not to loose contact with me for a second, was a masterpiece. You live your profile: "everything matters. Each touch. Each breath." don't know whether that is everybody's cup of tea but for me it worked like clockwork. The secret of the slowness is probably in how much it leaves space for feelings to come up and to be listened to.

I am still struggling to find a name for your massage. A dance it certainly was. But what kind of a dance? An erotic dance? Somehow that doesn't sound right. A sexual dance? Even if it had elements that also occur in sex, it was at the same time as far for sex as is the moon from the earth. Or maybe it was in nature the sex we all dream of deep down, without being able to let it come up? In substance it was a very poetic, respectful, sensual and healing freestyle ballet, but what is the name for that? Well, probably you have just created your own style that has no name yet.

The slow dancing like style is probably one of the reasons why it had a lot in common with the music of Thomas Anjani. (By the way, there is a cd called "Sacred Names" by her which might do well as background music to your massage.)

But, as we are speaking of music, did you know what was one of the first things Leonard Cohen's Roshi told him to do when he wanted to enter his monastery?

He was told to learn to play tennis because he knew how to work but not how to play. Leonard says: "nowadays I know why it is called enlightenment". Interludes of passion and playfulness.

As I said, the biggest surprise came at the end. You told me afterwards that there had been a huge thunderstorm during the massage. I know absolutely nothing of that and it is good to know that poetry can make thunderstorms disappear. I had completely lost any sense of time as the massage seemed to have lasted for a wonderful eternity but my body knew somehow to expect at that point a lingam massage. Instead there was what I called afterwards "mending of a broken heart" where you massaged my heart region and at the same gently touched my lingam. The powerfulness of my reaction to it came completely out of the blue for me but it was SO intimate and I have very few times been so much alive.

I forgot one song. After what I said on the mending of a broken heart you maybe understand why it is for me the one that best describes the expectation before real tantra. "Come healing", sung by the Webb sisters: Come healing of the mind, come healing of the body. Come healing of the reason, come healing of the heart. Find it on Youtube.

Now, three days after a long and intense massage the health benefits of good tantra are really kicking in.

Janaki, det var stort, det var lysande! Thanks for the dance.

(Diese Berichte haben wir von unserem Massagegast V. bekommen. Wir bedanken uns für die Offenheit und für den ausführlichen Text. Unserer ehemalige Kollegin Janaki aus Norwegen arbeitet leider nicht mehr mit Tantra-Massagen)